It was strange. We both didn't really know what the other looked like but he came up to me at the cafe and said, "Natalie? You look just like your mother." I could have started sobbing and never stopped...I realized how much I missed her. Everyday. My mother was always there for me.He told me some things about my father. David. He was the youngest of the family and anyone that met him loved him. He told me that my father had a wild streak in him and that he did not get to talk to or see him before his death. My father. My father is gone. He died on some adventure in South America. Maybe that's why he never communicated with me? Maybe that's why my mother never spoke of him realizing he was never coming back.
I do not know when these pictures were taken but I scanned them in so I could share with you. This was really the first time as an adult that I have ever seen a picture of him. He is my father and as much as I want to hate him and yell at him and ask him "why?!" I realize that I can't. It's over.
He was who he was and I wasn't a part of his life. I've had to deal with this for a long time so it's not like all this was a shock to me. Meeting my Uncle just brings up some issues that I thought I had nicely tucked away and put up way high on a closet shelf...but I'm okay. I'm going to meet my Uncle again next week at his house to give him some time to look for any other items I may want or pieces of information (medical records, etc..) that I may need in the future.I was glad to see Jack after this.
Ah sweetness, it must have been a really rough and emotionally draining weekend for you. Remember, this can only make you stronger.
ReplyDeleteYou followed your heart, met with your uncle, and now you are receiving a few answers to the millions of questions whirling in your head. I can't begin to imagine what you must be feeling, but I am glad you have Jack by your side to shine a bit of happiness into your world.
Wishing you a peaceful week...
Oh yeah! you should have undergone a feel of mixed emotions; pain and pleasure when you look at the pics of that handsome man. Pray for your peace :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're going to see your uncle again--that's such a mysterious picture of him, he looks like he has lots of stories to tell.
ReplyDeleteWow, your dad looked like a badass!
Good luck dealing with all this--you'll get through and learn a lot along the way, hopefully : )
Those are great photos of your Dad. Sometimes it feels good to find out questions we've always wondered, but can be painful. I'm glad you got to meet with your Uncle and find out about your Dad. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you had a nice time with your Uncle and had some of your questions answered.
ReplyDeleteWishing you a week of peaceful thoughts...
what wonderful photos of your fathers younger years..looks like a free spirit!
ReplyDeleteand how wonderful is life to send jack,
who seems kind and caring
Karyn...I love this wonderful and thoughtful post about your Dad.
ReplyDeleteAnd my mom even read your post today and almost cried. You touched her heart.
And she loved your beaver comment on my post today.
Sending my best from Seattle.
Natalie, it sounds like you are at peace with this whole situation. That is good and so giving of you.
ReplyDeleteBlessings~